Thursday, July 10, 2008

How do I get my faith back????

UGH, I am just lost at how to get my faith back. I am so angry with God and can't help but question why. Why was Tred taken from us. Why do I have to be so sad, angry and hurt. Why does my husband have to deal with the loss of his son. Why do my children have to endure the hurt of losing a brother. WHY, WHY, WHY? Why would my God take our son from us. I keep thinking these things when I get a question from my 3 year old that is full of questions that I can't answer.

This morning while getting ready for the day I woke the kids up. E wanted to cuddle and have his back lightly tickled (something all of the boys enjoy). He asked "Why did the baby die", I could only tell him because he was sick because I wanted that answer as well. He then asked "When can he have his lives back", I told him that he isn't here on earth with us but he will see him again in heaven. Yes I still believe in heaven, I just have a hard time believing in God right now. He then asked "Are you sad mommy". And I answered him as I always do "I'm sad that Tred is in haven but happy that I have you".

Can someone tell me why my 3 year old asks these questions. He is just too young to have to notice this type of pain and sadness. *SIGH* Why can't I be happy that we had the opportunity to have Tred in our lives. Instead I am just so sad that he isn't with us now. I just want that hurt to go away. I want to believe in God that he will help us heal but I just can't find that.

I love and miss you baby Tred.

2 comments: said...

I think of you and your family daily and I am sending you a big hug right now. Feel it? I'm so sorry Angie. Life seems so unfair. We will be here with you, as always. I wish I could make it all better. Much love sweetie,

McGarry News said...

Being angry is normal and ok. It is part of the healing process. I'm thinking of you