Monday, July 13, 2009

Dream or Nighmare?

Do you ever have one of those days where it seems as though you are living a dream or a horrible nighmare. I am so glad to have met my angel babies but I am so angry that they are not with us. My living children were robbed of growing up with their sister and brother and it makes me so sad they have had to deal with the death of their brother and sister at such a young age.

I have a hard time getting to sleep becuase when I do I dream that the kids and Greg die and I'm left alone or I re live giving birth to Tred and Talya. Someday it will be a wonderful dream to relive their births but right now it just hurts more than words can say.

Somedays I just feel their is no light at the end of the tunnel, I just want to be happy again.

6 comments:

heidihoffbeck said...

Hang in there it takes time, like Annette it took her 5 yrs to feel like herself, she will never forget her son, but she said there is just a time that you need to live for yourself and your other kids, she also told me to tell you not to rush things, live for today and deal with tomorrow when tomorrow comes. You are too hard on yourself. Maybe you should talk to tyler and try a different sleeping aid, that may help too. Let me know if there is anything you need from me! Love you lots!!

Salma said...

I'm so sorry for the loss of your babies...I don't know how you feel,but I have an idea what it feels like.

Sarah said...

:( So sorry for you. Bless you and all your sweet babies.

Monique said...

Big hugs to you & much love.

its.me.heather said...

Hang in there.. You are doing the best you can and that is all you can expect from yourself. You are an amazing mother and don't question that so much. You have right to grieve and you should not have to hide that. Your children on earth will grow up and as adults realize what a strong and powerful woman you are to have held tight and given them your all despite what you have been through. They all ( both in heaven and on earth ) will know how fortunate they are to call you their mom. I'm so sorry you have been hurt so badly. I wish I could take part of the pain from you so that you could rest easy and have better days sooner rather than later. I'm here for you even when it seems I have forgotten I promise - I have not. Much hugs and love to you all.

becomewhatyouare said...

I wish I had words. I'm so sorry is all I can think of. I will increase my prayer for you.