It was a very weird day today. I've come to the realization that I will never have kids again and it well, sucks, sucks shit. I still want another one but hubby isn't on board. It feels like to many years have gone by and my age and husband are against me. I still see pregnant women and it still hurts. I look away and act as if they aren't there. Since Tred and Talya have died I have only held 1 baby girls not a new born but under a year old. I don't think I can ever hold a newborn ever again. To many feelings of failure and fear and hurt.
I am currently working on finishing Talya's blanket and putting together a book of friends that let balloons go in Tred's memory. The kids are so excited to see the finished video/book.
Love always to you Tred and Talya. I miss and love you!
Till I have more to say,
Mom of 5 wonderful children