Thursday, August 1, 2013

2 days in a row

It was a very weird day today.  I've come to the realization that I will never have kids again and it well, sucks, sucks shit.  I still want another one but hubby isn't on board.  It feels like to many years have gone by and my age and husband are against me.  I still see pregnant women and it still hurts.  I look away and act as if they aren't there.  Since Tred and Talya have died I have only held 1 baby girls not a new born but under a year old.  I don't think I can ever hold a newborn ever again.  To many feelings of failure and fear and hurt.

I am currently working on finishing Talya's blanket and putting together a book of friends that let balloons go in Tred's memory.  The kids are so excited to see the finished video/book.

Love always to you Tred and Talya.  I miss and love you!

Till I have more to say,
  Mom of 5 wonderful children

No comments: