Monday, April 19, 2010

I said it before and I will say it again,

You really know who your friends and family are when you have lost a child. I am so ashamed to even know some people I call family and friends. Talya's birthday came and some family I believe only helped us celebrate because they were told about her celebration. If we didn't invite them they would never had known (this I know as tey all forgot Tred's birthday last year). Then their are people I considered friends back in the day that I lost contact with and then reconnected with and now after hearing what has happened to me and our family, they no longer talk to me or even leave messages on this blog or even one of those messaging sites. I just don't get it. If it were someone else that has gone through losing a child and I knew about it, I would be trying to find information for them and post to them on their special days and even send a card to their home.

I JUST DON'T GET IT. Yes I am a mom of 3 living children. Yes I am a mom of 2 children that died. GET OVER YOURSELF AND PUT YOURSELF IN MY SHOES ONCE. IT IS A LONELY, LONELY LIFE AND ALL I WANT ARE FRIENDS.


Mirne said...

Yes. Yes. Yes. Our friends and family are exactly the same. They don't remember. They don't want to remember. Our friends are not really friends any more. We're too hard for them. They don't know what to say, so they say nothing. It is terribly lonely, being a parent to dead children. And you're right, I just want friends. Friends who will not hide when I talk about my children.

Holly said...

A lot of people don't know how to handle us or grief in general. It's pretty sad.

Reba said...

it is so true. there are people we weren't close with at all, who have really come through for us. a friend i had lost touch with immediately got in the car and drove out to my house the day i sent a big email letting everyone know we were home from the hospital and that the babies were gone. you really find out who your real friends are when you go through a tragedy.

lost elizabeth wire creations said...

hi there, im sorry about your loss. I lost my baby elizabeth at 6mths, and what i have learned about this is that the reality of things is that people will never understand the pain that we go thru, because they belive that just because it was a premature baby we had no time to get used to them, sadly they dont feel it like it was a baby. The day of her passing i remember one comment that has stayed with me until this second "i can not help you with the burial no body got to know her if they'll go it will be out of curiosity" it bothered me but i was still in shock,i just smiled, that was just a very ignorany comment of course i got to know her,she would give me those cravings,she would ake me up in the middle of the night. dont let this bother you for the wellness of your other children you have to gather your self up and slowly forgive those peple who have deserted you because at the end you are acummulating hate and hate only makes you suffer. On my bad days i still cry my lungs out and on my bad nights i yell in silence, i just started my blog like 2 0r 3 days ago i have only 2 posts and im trying to help other moms that felt as quilty as i did i know im not well yet but i know
that if you reconstruct your self litle by little you slowly get there.