Sunday, August 23, 2009

Just babbling

Well I had gotten my results back from the dr. and I am a "colonized" meaning I am a GBS carrier. The bacteria will come and go and if (a big if) I get pregnant I will need to be on antibiotics the entire pregnancy, this can raise other issues as well. I also test positive for high levels of homocysteine which can cause clotting problems so again if I get pregnant I will have to be on baby asprin and Lovenox, which is a shot. So "if" I get pregnant again I will need to be monitored (per my dr) monitored like a hawk. I don't know if I could ever do this again. My gosh, I would love to have another baby but I don't know if I could do it to this extent and my fear, depression and anxiety would be through the roof.

On another note, I sent the kids off to Camp Erin over the weekend and they loved it. B was not looking forward to it until we pulled in and he saw everything that he would be able to do. P was excited but anxious. She felt sick a few times but thankfully she never got sick. They had a meeting to tell the parents that the kids would be crabby from lack of sleep and talking about their grief. They were not kidding. I have never seen my daughter so angry in my life. She threw so many tempertantrums and said a few things that made me cry. I was so sad at some of the things she said that it hurt to even talk to her. I know she has a bad temper but to say what she said was just so upsetting. We were in the car and she was fighting with her brothers (totally normal). When Greg and I told them to stop fighting and to keep their hands to themselves, she went crazy. She was screaming, yelling and said she doesn't care about anyone, even Tred and Talya. I just burst out in tears, I was (and still am) sad that she would say this.

Anyway, I am having one of those weekends, missing the kids when they went to cam and have them coming back in a bad mood just makes things sad.


Kristy ~ said...

Oh Angie, i'm so sorry that your daughter was so mean. I hope you and your husband are able to sit down with her and help her find a more positive way to express her anger and sadness.


Anonymous said...


Sarah said...

I have always wondered how siblings would deal with the loss of a baby.

I wonder how they process the loss. Maybe she is venting the only way she knows how? Sorry it hurt you, I can only imagine. The loss is enormous, and if adults have a hard time dealing, imagine how little ones try and cope :(

I will pray for healing for not only you and Greg, but for your children.