Long Night

I don't know why I started but I did. I got things together to give back to their original owners. It was so hard because I had things I purchased and made for Talya and wasn't going to use any of them. I cried and cried and DH said you don't have to do this and I said it's got to get done at some point so I might as well finish. We both sad hugging each other and cried. I opened a bag of things that we had from the hospital and I could still smell her in the hat she had on, but put the things back in the bag to seal in her smell. UUUGGGHHH. Why can't this just be easy. I don't understand and never will why we have to go through this.

I also got some results back from my dr. office. I changed OB/GYN's after Talya passed away because I didn't feel comfortable at my dr. anymore. Well my new (she wasn't totally new, I had her when I delivered E) GYN decided to do some blood work and check for the bacteria infection again. Well becuase of the clots that I had 2 days before I delivered Talya as well as the day she passed away, she wanted to check on some blood clotting disorders. Well needless to say, I have a bacterial infection AGAIN!!!!. I am on antibiotics now and am hoping this may explain my being tired. I also got the results back on my homocysteine levels and they are high. This is one of the genetic blood test result so I will be going back in for some genetic testing and I'm sure some diet changes and more medication to make sure things go back to normal.

UGH, what a week I feel physically and mentally drained.