I hate these kind of nights. I see pictures of babies and families with their babies and they are so happy. I wish it was me being happy with my babies. It really brings up a new meaning of they grow up fast. I am remembering back when B, P and E were babies and I wish I would have savored the time more. I miss every little thing they did from waking up at night (that never bothered me waking up feeding and holding them) to crawling, walking and their little giggles. I wish I could have that again.
We also visited the cemetary and Talya's headstone came in. It's so nice to go to the cemetary and visit both children and have both of their names visable. I never thought visiting my babies in a cemetary would be part of our life, and whomever thought and said "life sucks" is right.
Do you find it weird to give your child a title of sort. I like to think that Tred would be a loving, caring and compassionate little boy. I think he would have been a book worm and not into sports like the other boys. I like to think that Talya would be an outspoken little girl that is a tom boy but she likes to look pretty as well. I can't help but think how similar they would be to their siblings.
*sigh* That's all for tonight, I just am having one of those nights.
5 comments:
((Hugs)) we all have times like this. I try real hard to imagine what my children would be like. But it's difficult because I have no other children to compare them too. I do know that Kees looked very much like his sister when he was born ... that was kind of breath-takingly amazing! I like to think they'd both have been too smart and stubborn for their own good. Kees used to like lying on his rug or on the sofa and look at the pictures on the wall. He'd like looking at all our books (about 1500 of them!) in the bookshelves ... so we'd joke about him growing up to be an art critic or a librarian or something. I still wonder ...
((Hugs)). For me, that's the hardest part, wondering what would have been and knowing we'll never know. It's heartbreaking. xoxo
(((Angie)))
*hugs* Angie. I wonder every.single.day about what my boys would have been like...I wish I didn't have to wonder, I wish I could just see for myself. You aren't alone.
sending you some love and support tonight.
Hugs to you.
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